Who Am I?

For years this question puzzled me so much. Am I allowed to recite who I think I am, or should the information be backed by another whether what I said about myself is true or not. I experience myself differently because I feel myself more than I perceive myself. I am unlearning a lot about who I thought I should be. I am more kind to myself now, performing less for an unsolicited audience. I am relearning what being black, young and woman embodied means to me. I rarely express my distaste for being born marginalized but lately I am reclaiming what my ancestors fought for and who I am called to be. I am a storyteller and the stories that live within me are of a liberated mind, healthy I and I relationship, conviction in reclaiming what I believe within this vast universe. I am deconstructing structures built to shame, discourage, and suppress our fight for a peaceful nation. I am quietly learning to strengthen my agility to achieve my goals and to build a strong inner foundation, firm in my abilities. I am restoring playfulness and what it means to me, as a black woman. I am leading by curiosity and desire to know life beyond what I only see but reimagined. I am indeed grateful for failures and rejections that have shaped who I am today. I am becoming more mindful of self before others, for thy self should love my neighbour as I love myself. I am decolonizing my future within the creative industry, so much of what I've been visualizing or even grew up internalizing is white supremacist. I use storytelling as a way of healing, and posing questions towards black experience and excavating history that hasn't been told before. I am facing myself, who I have been and who I am embodying beyond performance of expectations but as a living craft. I get doubtful and fearful about my art and creative capabilities, I am still healing through the art I make now, and I am brave for even trying amongst all that damn negative voice within,  for I know within me lies the power of alchemy. May God and my ancestors watch over me and support me as I run and conquer myself and my dreams.

Who do I want to become?

Oh, where do I even stop with this one, cause there's a lot.. But first I wanna get that degree. It doesn't matter how but I'm becoming irresistible not to be accepted in those prestigious institutions. I want to become more cheeky with my creative practices as a creative. I want to build a blue print creative ecosystem. I want wealth, liberated wealth, one so abundant that it feels whole and comes from a place of nourishment. I will become successful and that is a declared fact, I will support this by staying rooted in my lane and what I create of it. I am becoming present within myself and I am learning not to fake wanting the things I want. I will educate myself and others with what I gather in this life. I will still be as fly while doing it, while it manifests into a well watered fruit tree (because of how sweet it will be). I will become more invested in matters that I feel strongly about, especially regarding redefining creativity and African storytelling within the mainstream. I want to become more of a student and a master at the same time. I will become a prayer I once prayed during my lowest times. I still want to laugh, joke around and take life lightly. I will not become too serious about life and its responsibilities, that I forget to be joyful and carefree. I will become wise to show my past selves compassion instead of regret. I will reflect God and my ancestor's belief in freedom by using my creativity and art as a weapon of liberation.

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